


Mishaps

by Rena



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-13
Updated: 2012-04-13
Packaged: 2017-11-03 14:03:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/382122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rena/pseuds/Rena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus is a nervous wreck, Alec first-handedly experiences the perils of extravagant proposals, Jace is his usual titillating self and Maryse faints. Or: An Unusual Day In The Life Of A Nephilim.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mishaps

"Magnus."

"..."

"Magnus."

"Hmm..."

" _Magnus_!"

Alec's resolute and somewhat annoyed voice snapped Magnus out of his train of thought (and the hand frantically waving before his eyes helped, too). "Huh?" He blinked. "I'm sorry, love. Did you say something?"

Alec sighed, exasperated. "I've been trying to tell you that I'm leaving for training for the last five minutes."

"Already? But it's only -"

Another sigh. "It's way past noon, Magnus, and I'm already late – _again_ \- which you might have noticed if you hadn't been nonsensically staring into space all morning. Jace will _lynch_ me."

"No, he won't," Magnus contradicted. "He will just constantly tease you by dropping sexual innuendos, which isn't exactly a novelty, but he is way too scared of me to actually do you any harm. And I did _not_ stare into space all morning."

"You didn't comment _once_ on the _Project Runway_ episode you were watching," Alec pointed out, and, to drive the point home, added, "And you didn't even notice that it ended half an hour ago."

Magnus surreptitiously snuck a glance at the TV. Sure enough, the episode he had recorded and intended to watch had ended, and now there was only the rainbow-firecracker screensaver filling the screen. Oops. "Huh. I must have gotten caught up daydreaming about you," he said quickly with a wicked leer, because it was the first excuse he could come up with (and there was some truth in it, too), and, just for the effect, added a wink.

The leer transformed into a full grin as he saw the trademark blush rising up to Alec's cheeks. He always found it hilarious that the shadowhunter still reacted that way to every single one of his only vaguely implicatory comments, even after practically living with Magnus for three years – one would have thought he would have grown accustomed to them by now, but apparently that wasn't the case. Not that Magnus complained. In fact, making Alec blush was one of his favourite pastime activities (and it was so damn easy).

Unfortunately for him, though, Alec's focus didn't waver as much as it used to when hearing those comments and the half-lie didn't serve its purpose to sufficiently distract the Nephilim. He just cocked his head to the side and gave Magnus a long, pensive look.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, palpably worried. "You have been acting weird lately...well, weirder than usually."

Magnus huffed. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that last bit." He stood up swiftly, thus cutting off Alec's answer before he could so much as make a sound. "Well, then, you should probably get going. Wouldn't want to keep Blondie waiting now would you?"

Alec's facial expression just became more suspicious. "This is normally the part where you try pretty much anything to hold me up and prevent me from leaving. Since when do you kick me out?"

"Since I need to get changed before my first paying customer shows up," Magnus lied smoothly, ushering him out of the living room. "Moreover, if I don't let you go now, your vicious siblings will most likely force you to stay longer, and I _do_ want you to be here on time to have dinner before we watch _American Idol_."

"I'm impressed. This might just be the most logical train of thought you ever had."

"Don't go all smartass on me, Alexander Lightwood, or I will make sure you will regret that even more than being late tonight," Magnus threatened, jabbing a finger towards his boyfriend's chest. "Seriously, you hang out with Jace way too much. He's rubbing off on you."

Alec merely rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'as if you're any better', which Magnus graciously chose to ignore. Instead, he blew his boyfriend a kiss. "Make sure you're here at six. Showered, please. While I do enjoy the sight of you being all hot and sweaty, I quite prefer this being of my doing," he stated and sashayed into the bedroom, where he collapsed onto the mattress with a loud groan as soon as he heard the front door fall closed.

This was getting ridiculous. If even _Alec_ , who was somewhat socially inept and usually oblivious to subtle mood swings and changes in the atmosphere or even something as simple as the concept of sarcasm (and that was saying something, especially since he'd been living with Jace for years), noticed that something was off, something that was graver than Magnus's typical diva moments, then his behaviour must have been really, really noticeable.

He was such a wimp. Why was he so nervous anyway?

Magnus's eyes wandered towards his wardrobe, where he had kept the bloody thing that caused his nervousness hidden. It was the best hideout he could think of, for it was the only piece of furniture in his flat that Alec downright refused to even come near of, as if he feared that if he ever touched anything in Magnus's closet, his own clothes would be hexed immediately and turn glittery or (the Angel forbid!) _coloured_. Plus, knowing Alec, even if he did find the item in question, he would probably just assume it was another one of the numerous accessories in Magnus's possession.

Said item in question that had Magnus break out in cold sweat was a slim ring made of white gold, void of any kind of fancy embellishment save for the two names delicately engraved on the inside of the ring. It had been stored there, gathering dust while waiting in the wings for its grand entrance for the bigger part of three months now – the warlock hadn't yet worked up the courage to actually put his plans into action and have it serve its purpose.

The truth was, Magnus had been trying to find a way to propose for quite some time now, but it had never worked out for a number of reasons. He'd simply chickened out thrice; then there had been four occasions when Magnus had already had everything planned out and set up only to find that Alec couldn't come over because they Institute had received an emergency call and he had to hack some demons to pieces instead of spending the evening with his boyfriend; and then, last but not least he'd once had to spend hours searching for the ring after Chairman Meow had decided that the ring boy made quite a nice toy – he'd only found it after Alec had already left (and he'd made a bad job at concealing that he was very close to freaking out completely), and he had discovered the tiny cat under the couch just in time to prevent the evil thing from swallowing the expensive jewellery.

He had also tried hinting something, but since Alec didn't understand any pop culture references or insinuations, that conversation had been the kind filled with a lot of non-sequiturs, bewildered glances and question marks almost visibly hanging over Alec's head. In the end, it had only resulted in Alec being throughoutly confused and Magnus feeling utterly frustrated. And all of that after he had spent almost half a year to contemplate which way of proposing would be the most comfortable and delectable for the shadowhunter and his own nerves.

Despite being nervous and unsure about this while proposing ordeal in general (What if he screwed it up? What if Alec said no? What if he said yes - would the Clave disapprove and threaten to strip Alec of his marks (very likely), or would Maryse throttle him and dump his corpse into the nearest trash can (almost certain)? ) he knew that he did want to spend the rest of his life with Alec, and marrying was a part of that. It was the way of making it official, and therefore he would do this properly. Period.

At first, Magnus had considered the classical style: a romantic candlelight dinner in a classy, expensive restaurant, kneeling down in front of his, blah blah blah, the full works. However, he knew that Alec was still not fond o public displays of their relationship, so that basically ruled out any public place and rendered a lot of his other ideas futile, including but not limited to a monitor on the Times Square, the words 'Marry me' written onto the sky with fireworks, or a giant banner pulled by an airplane. That was a pain, really, because Magnus was prone to corniness, but he had learned the hard way not to piss off a shadowhunter who carried more weapons on his body than an entire S.W.A.T. Team, especially, he supposed, when you wanted said shadowhunter to accept your proposal.

Of course Magnus could have just relocated the candlelight dinner to take place in his flat, but then he had decided that this was too ordinary and cliché. No, he wanted something special.

The ultimate idea struck him only now. He could combine the dinner idea with a more surprising facet. Of course, the idea itself wasn't entirely original, but he was sure he could trust Alec to be unaware of the mundane fashion of hiding the engagement ring somewhere in the meal, so hopefully he would like it.

That decided, Magnus set to work. Without further ado, he snatched the ring box from the closet and strode into the kitchen, where he began with searching for the right-sized pots and bowls. That alone took more time than he had anticipated. He hardly ever used the kitchen at all, and when he did, he only made coffee or waffles; he most certainly had cooked or baked in here before. Not that he hadn't ever done it – he even prided himself to be quite good at it - but using magic was just so much more convenient. However, simply conjuring up things was not an option today. He was proposing, and he wanted Alec to see that he put an effort into it to show how much he meant to him, so he would prepare the strawberry muffins himself. Strawberry muffins were Alec's favourite, especially the ones from the little bakery down the street, so Magnus decided to use their recipe and deliberately ignored the fact that stealing the recipe by using magic and making the ingredients magically appear in his kitchen might be considered cheating. He didn't really have the time to go grocery shopping and stray through the corridors of some mazelike supermarket.

Magnus picked up the only apron he owned – baby blue with paw prints on it – rolled up his sleeves and began to work.

* * *

Six tries, four almost nervous breakdowns, two broken glass bowls, one incident involving a smouldering oven, and a lot of flour covering the kitchen floor later, Magnus proudly examined his handiwork. Before him sat a nicely shaped, unburned strawberry muffin (well, actually there were five of them that still looked edible, but the one in front of him was _the one_ ), topped with pink icing and an extra strawberry on top to mark it as the special muffin that Alec would be served for dessert that night.

"Perfect," he determined.

"Mrrow?"

"No, Chairman, this is not for you," Magnus said, turning towards his tiny cat with a scolding look on his face. "Don't give me that look. You don't even like strawberries, and if you so much as try to lick the topping, I will throw you out of the window. I'm not kidding this time. Go play with your catnip in the bedroom, but don't hack up fur balls in my closet or on the bed."

Surprisingly enough, the cat for once listened to his words, as if he knew this was important to Magnus, though not before throwing him a dark look that clearly said ' _You owe me for this. I expect an appropriate payment, consisting of the best cat food and your undivided attention for the next week_ '. The warlock didn't pay him any heed, though, for he was busy taking in the mess he'd made of the kitchen. In fact, it didn't look much like a kitchen anymore, but rather like a battlefield.

Frowning, Magnus cast a glance towards the clock. It was almost five p.m., which left him very little time to clean up, set up the table, cook the main course and, of course, get dressed up. There was no way he'd manage to do all that without performing magic. There went his good intentions. Oh well, but it was better to cheat a bit than to not get it done. With a few flicks of his wrists, the kitchen was clean and tidy again (in fact, it was tidier than it ever had been – maybe he should consider cleaning up more often) and the dinner table was set. Just in case, Magnus put some plastic wrap over the muffin – he really didn't want Chairman Meow to nibble at it.

"Now, to the most difficult task," Magnus muttered to himself as he strode to the bedroom. "What to wear?"

That was a difficult task indeed. Dressing up was a must – after all, he wanted to look nice on this special occasion – but if he brought out the big guns Alec would become suspicious, particularly since the Nephilim was sure to show up in old jeans and a faded, baggy black sweatshirt and if Magnus dolled himself up too much the discrepancy between the two of them would be too big. Not that the shadowhunter had developed any fashion sense in the last three years of dating Magnus or had let the warlock rub off on him at all, but he was now sometimes able to tell the difference between Magnus's staying-in and going-out outfits. Therefore, he had to choose his clothes wisely if he did not want the element of surprise to be ruined.

In the end, he opted for plain black skinny jeans and a dark green T-Shirt, combining them with his favourite Gucci boots and some subtly applied make-up. He was in the process of finishing applying the eyeliner, feeling rather cheery and singing to himself when all of a sudden a horribly familiar voice piped up behind him.

"Thought I'd find you in here," Alec stated, leaning casually against the door frame.

Of course, Magnus did not squeal. Like, at all. He did, however, jump and whirl around so quickly that he nearly knocked over half of the bottles on the bathroom counter. And then really all he could do was stare at his boyfriend – or rather, the _thing_ in Alec's hand – in utter horror.

He was so screwed.

If Alec found his behaviour odd, he didn't show it. "You have a bit of flour in your hair," he commented matter-of-factly, amusement dancing in his eyes, and raised the small cake to his lips.

If Magnus hadn't been close to a heart attack before, he certainly was now. And the worst thing was that he couldn't seem to find his voice. Or, alternatively, his fibres and muscles, to walk up to the Nephilim and stop him. "Umm...Alec..." he began tentatively. "Don't...you shouldn't..."

"Don't worry, Magnus," Alec munched. "These are actually really good. Way better than anything Izzy ever made and then tried to shove down my throat. Food can't kill me that easil-"

That was the instant that his mien changed. His eyes widened instantaneously and for a split second Magnus worried that Alec had damaged his teeth by biting onto the hard metal. As it turned out, his fears were unfounded.

It was even worse.

Alec began to cough violently, his face turning beet-red in a matter of seconds as he gasped for air, one hand flying up to his mouth. Magnus didn't have to ask what was wrong; he knew what had happened, and if he hadn't been so worries about Alec, he would have gladly introduced his head to the nearest wall until he knocked himself out. As it was, that would have to wait, because currently it seemed that he was unintentionally killing his boyfriend by making him suffocate on his engagement ring. How delightful.

Magnus immediately rushed to Alec's side and gave him a few good, hard hits on the back. Luckily, the effect was instantaneous. A blink of an eye later, Alec spit out the ring into his hand, where it blinked at Magnus mockingly.

Alec stared.

The awkward silence stretched like chewing gum.

The warlock shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat. This was clearly the moment where he should make some witty remark to lighten up the mood and play down the disaster. Or, well, you know, say anything at all. But since karma was a bitch, his usual eloquence abandoned him.

"Well," he sighed eventually, "I suppose this couldn't have gone any worse. Unless, of course, you would have actually choked. That would have been wholly inconvenient."

"Magnus." Alec interrupted his rambling, still staring at the jewellery in confusion. "Is this what I think it is?"

"That depends on what you think it is, but if you're thinking what I think you're thinking, then yes, it is what you think it is."

Alec blinked. "Uh-"

Magnus waited edgily, a feeling of dread spreading all over his body. He was going to reject him. Certainly he would. He'd reject his crappy, screwed-up proposal and dump him and run off with someone better and –

"Um," Alec broke the silence. "I'm no expert at this, but isn't this the part where you...I don't know, ask me a question?"

_Oh._

_Right._

"Alexander Lightwood," Magnus began, taking Alec's hands into his own. "I love you like I have never loved anyone before. I cannot imagine a life without you. Will you do me the honour of accepting my hand in marriage?"

"...Yes," Alec breathed.

Magnus's heart made a leap of joy in his chest and really, the only logical and consistent action at this point was to pull Alec into his arms and kiss him senseless. The ring clattered as it hit the ground where it lay in silent abandon until, much later, the two were coherent enough again to remember the existence of the accursed artefact and Magnus went to retrieve it.

Sliding under the comforter beside Alec, he grabbed the shadowhunter's hand. "Never fear, I washed it off," he chuckled when seeing Alec's frown. "It would be slightly gross to have the remainders of half-chewed muffin bits sticking to your fingers."

"Ew," Alec grimaced. "It's a shame, though. The muffin was delicious."

"Before you spit the rests of it onto the bathroom tiles, you mean?" Magnus grinned. "Don't worry, I've got more of them."

Alec's head perked up. "Really?"

"Really," Magnus said as he slid the ring onto Alec's finger and placed a chaste kiss on his hand. "Unless, of course, Chairman Meow has eaten them. He'd better not – it took me ages to make them."

A soft giggle escaped Alec's lips. "So this is why the kitchen looked so tidy."

"Well, I had to clean up after using it that excessively," Magnus shrugged, purposely not mentioning the mess he'd made of it. He had the sneaking suspicion that Alec suspected too much about his (nonexistent) cooking abilities already.

Nestling up against the warlock and resting his chin on Magnus's chest, Alec contemplated the ring on his hand. "This feels a bit strange," he stated. "But I kind of like it."

Magnus smiled. "Yeah," he said. "Me, too."

Then, a thought struck him. He sat up. "We have to tell your family."

"What, now?" Alec asked, puzzled.

"They have a right to know, don't you think?"

"It's almost midnight," Alec pointed out. "Don't you think this can wait until tomorrow?"

"Personally, I'm not quite sure whether your mother could handle this information before breakfast," Magnus deadpanned. "Apart from that, I really don't see any problems with telling them now. You shadowhunters are mostly nocturnal anyway. We wouldn't wake them up."

"...I really don't want to get up now."

"Then stay here. I'll go. This shouldn't take longer than a couple of minutes anyway." Magnus smiled and pressed his lips to Alec's forehead. "I'll be back before you know it."

He could see that Alec was going to protest, but weariness was already clouding the Nephilim's eyes and so Alec gave in and let himself fall back onto the mattress while Magnus slipped out of the bed and gathered his clothes that were scattered all over the floor, having been discarded in a hurry. He dressed hastily, hoping that it wouldn't be all that obvious that he'd just had sex, kissed his boyfriend, who was already half-asleep, goodbye and left for the Institute.

* * *

Not even ten minutes later, he was hammering at the front door, which was opened to reveal an irritated-looking Maryse and Jace, who looked very much like he always did: completely unaffected, but with an amused smile playing on his lips as he took in Magnus's appearance.

"What is it, Bane?" Maryse growled. "Is something wrong with Alec?"

"Not at all," Magnus replied cheerfully. "Are Robert and Izzy here?"

"Nah. Izzy is over at the bloodsucker's place and Robert is in Idris," Jace answered. "Why?"

"Oh, it simply would have been handy if they'd all been here to hear the news. Doesn't matter, though. You'll be sure to tell them anyway." Magnus shrugged. He really didn't care all that much.

"Tell them what?"

"We're getting married."

Maryse's jaw went slack. "Come again?"

"I said Alec and I are getting married."

His words were followed by a shocked silence, until Jace began to snicker.

"What's so funny, Blondie?" Magnus demanded, raising one eyebrow.

"I was just wondering," Jace drawled, grinning from ear to ear, "Which one of you is going to be the blushing bride in the white wedding dress?"

"Well," Magnus said pensively, "I suppose if you talk of a _blushing_ bride that would imply that Alec would indeed be-"

Maryse made a strangled sound and quite unceremoniously fainted.

* * *

Alec stirred as Magnus quietly crawled into bed again and at once turned around to wrap his arms possessively around the warlock's waist.

"How did they take it?" He mumbled dozily against his tanned skin.

Magnus thought back to the brief conversation and grinned. "Better than I expected."


End file.
